We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
