That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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