After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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