yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
