I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
