I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize