Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
