Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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