ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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