she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
