This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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