so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
