girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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