let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
