does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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