i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
