that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
