it hurts more in the daytime
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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