you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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