I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
