I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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