is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
