apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
It's just like the Real World with babies
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Randomize
