Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Randomize
