Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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