Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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