I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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