we have officially lost it.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize