If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
is that a dick in a sweater?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
