I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
