That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
