FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize