Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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