mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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