So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
