I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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