He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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