Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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