I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
