i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
