Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Randomize
