i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
