32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
