Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I smell stomach acid.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
