i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
