i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
