I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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