I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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