So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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