I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
My penis needs a shock collar
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
