It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
