it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
