In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
