I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize