I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
