we're blogging at a bar
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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