Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize