just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
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