i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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