I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
