On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
