It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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