woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
He kissed a someone with a penis
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Enjoy the penises
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
