New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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