I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
